Montefiore Hosts Program to Turn Dads into Heroes
By Dwayne Barker
Bronx Dad
Bronx Voice
May 30, 2024
BRONX - Growing up it was common for me to hear young men and boys being told to tough it out, and for years I thought “he’s a tough guy” was a compliment. My view shifted because of the HERO Dads program at Montefiore Medical Center. I was welcomed by Bronx dads who just understood me, they too had difficulty managing stressful situations without getting overwhelmed.
Healthy, Empowered, Resilient, Open (HERO) are qualities the program seeks to grow. Our first week, we learned that noticing our thoughts, feelings and actions could change the game. This mindfulness helped me grow my bond with my children, have more fun with them and allowed me to teach them healthy social and emotional development. While kids may not seem like they are listening to parents, they truly do look to their dads to learn how to express and cope with their emotions.
Quitting Quarrels
Before I joined this free program, petty quarrels with my children’s mother were common and we’d argue in front of the children, failing to see how stressful this was for the kids. After attending the relationship and parenting workshops, I started to see things differently. As parents, we were not aware of our thoughts or feelings – and then, we didn’t share them in healthy ways.
When I started to truly listen to my children’s mother and summarize her perspective before stating my own, things changed. Together we created respect for the other’s opinion, and agreements that benefited the emotional needs of our children. Our arguments became fewer, our stress lower and our family communication was more effective because of this approach.
Mentally Tough Guys
Fathers who can master their emotions in healthy ways can show up; these men can be patient, present, and attentive. Anger and stress come up often for me, and so many dads – but stepping back and taking a break are valuable skills that I learned through the HERO Dads program.
Not knowing how to manage everyday stressful situations made it difficult for me to truly connect with and show love for my children. I learned real strategies to stay in the moment with my kids – even when I have a list of issues on my mind. Together, my kids and I can use these skills to move towards a calm and present mind.
Like our muscles, habits for good mental health can be trained. Our minds are powerful forces and just as important as physical health. During HERO, Dads I met men who are role models, and I came to know that expressing your emotions is not a weakness, but a very valuable strength.
If you need help, reach out to a mental health professional or join the HERO Dads program. I’ll be there to welcome you!
About HERODads
HERO Dads is a federally funded, free program that provides relationship and parenting workshops and enhanced employment services for non-custodial fathers. HERO Dads is run by mental health professionals, and fathers are provided with the tools necessary to increase their mental health and become more comfortable noticing and expressing their emotions. Text HERO to 646-823-6204 or call 929-234-4834, or e-mail us at HERODads-UBA@montefiore.org
Comments
Post a Comment