Making a Meaningful & Merry Holiday Season

Gifty Ampadu, Ph.D, Psychologist at Montefiore Medical Center

By Gifty Ampadu, Ph.D, Psychologist at Montefiore Medical Center 

HEALTH - The holidays can feel packed with competing demands, between get-togethers for work, family and friends - even days off are busy. With rising costs, we feel pressure to balance finances and family obligations. 

Sometimes the holidays bring tough emotions, as this time of the year can evoke strong memories for those who have lost loved ones. Stressors around the holidays can look different for each person, but healthy coping skills can be helpful in managing different stressors.  

Prioritize Activities that Bring Joy & Meaning

Comfort and joy can be your focus this season. Spend your time and energy on rituals and routines that build connections like: making a favorite dish as family, decorating as a group, playing outside or going on a walk together before a celebratory meal.

Focusing on connection can help us set aside the worries and pressures of gift giving and gathering that can cloud our view of the holidays.

Research tells us that rituals and routines provide us with structure, predictability and security. 

Family rituals also provide children with a sense of identity and belonging.

This is a great time to share and learn more about your family’s history, points of pride, culture, values or religion. Understanding family history and traditions can enhance self-esteem and emotional wellbeing.

Assess the Options for Using Your Time

This year, your family may be asking you to travel or stay with them for extended periods – you may even feel pulled to do this as the pandemic changed our holiday routines.

Take a moment to think of what you need to make this a joyful season. You might want to  reserve down time to be on your own and maybe time to be 1:1 with your spouse or children.

Next, see if their plan works with your vision. If it is beyond what you can offer socially or financially – that's ok. Be transparent and set clear limits on what you feel comfortable offering.

Respect the boundaries you set and uphold them. Saying yes, when we don’t have the time, energy or money can lead to further exhaustion and stress. Remember to use self-compassion at these times, speak to yourself as you would to a friend.

Perfection is A Trap

Sometimes we get caught up in planning and the details before a big event, we don’t pause to enjoy the moment. Let go of focusing on the perfect dish, getting the perfect gift, or hosting a flawless gathering - and instead focus your attention on maximizing the fun times with your people.

Taking on more than you have time for means there is no time to relax, sing or joke around – downtime is what creates special moments and memories.

Prep yourself ahead of time, know that one thing might not go flawlessly and embrace that – you can laugh it off or focus on how the good moments outweigh the bad.

While you’re getting ready for the day try setting an intention. Say to yourself: my intention for today is ---. Some examples include: to embrace the joy of the moment or to be present even if things go imperfectly.